


Marlene's Surprise

by JasonTandro



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:05:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4489458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasonTandro/pseuds/JasonTandro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was the winner of the 2010 January to March Fanfic Contest on Genesis Awards Forums. A humor piece dealing with Barret coming to terms with Marlene growing up and Marlene's plan to try and help her daddy find somebody to date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marlene's Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Foreword:
> 
> This was the winner of the 2010 January to March Fanfic Contest on Genesis Awards Forums. The contest was to use one of these three prompts as the basis for a story:
> 
> "Marlene tries to hook her dad up on a blind date with a woman of her choice. Barret, of course, does not know the ways of wooing a woman. Must be an existing character who is unsuspecting. This story should be primarily humorous."
> 
> "T'is the season to be... huh. What does Gaia celebrate, anyway? Write a story revolving around Midgar's special season, and how the cast celebrates it. Are the traditions funny or morbid? This story can fall under any genre."
> 
> "Someone has an obsession. This story can fall under any genre."
> 
> I decided to try my luck and use all three prompts as the basis for this story, where obsession refers to obsessive parenting.

  
Once again, it was that most fascinating of seasons when the people of Kalm celebrated the fact that their world was not destroyed. Five years since Meteorfall, and the people had found a way to turn the suffering and challenges of AVALANCHE into an excuse to sell morbidly ironic trinkets, including Meteor-shaped balls and liquid Holy.

This wonderful perversion made Barret sick to his stomach.

"Happy Life Day!" Marlene cried as she jumped up on her father's stomach as he lay in bed.

Barret coughed from the force, but put his arms around her and smiled.

"Hello Marlene!" He laughed. "Happy Life Day to you too."

Marlene was now nine years old. Her hair had gotten a bit longer and she looked more like her mother than before.

"Guess what!" Marlene smiled. "Denzel agreed to take me to the fair! _Me!_ " She added as if her father hadn't understood her.

"That's great!" Barret sighed sleepily. "No, wait a minute!"

Barret rolled out of bed and almost toppled Marlene over. "Denzel invited... but you're only... I mean it's..."

Marlene looked up at her father curiously, as though she had never quite seen something this amusing before.

"Baby girl, you're a little young to be going on dates," Barret said, calming down.

Marlene put her hands on her hip and frowned. "I'm nine and a half, thank you very much."

Barret grinned and rolled his eyes, a habit which highly annoyed his daughter. "Yes, Marlene and that practically makes you an old lady."

"So I can't go?" Marlene pouted.

"I never said you couldn't. I know Denzel, he's a good kid. But just for today, okay? I still think you're a little young to be dating."

Marlene bounced up and hugged her father and then ran outside. Barret looked out the window and saw Marlene skip out the door and talk to Denzel, who was leaning on his bicycle.

 _The kid biked here from Edge? He's got some dedication,_ Barret laughed.

Barret looked around his room and sighed. It had been many years since he had thought about Myrna. But with his daughter rapidly turning into a young woman, a void was beginning to creep over him. Five years ago, it hadn't mattered. He just focused on the mission. Raise his daughter right and stop Shinra from destroying the world. Those were the only two things he had to think about. Then once Shinra and Sephiroth had been defeated, and the dust had settled, a new time of peace for the world had seemed like a blessing for the battle-weary man. He finally had time to be a father.

But now, the already depleted years of his time with his daughter were slipping away. And then what? Before Barret knew it, she would be out on her own. In ten years or so she may even be married!

 _Now don't think about that!_ Barret told himself.

But the thoughts came, and with it, a sense of dread like he hadn't felt before. What lied after that for him?

"My dad said we can go!" Marlene smiled.

She gave Denzel a hug and Denzel blushed slightly. "That's great."

"You know what though," Marlene sighed. "He didn't seem too happy about it."

Denzel frowned. "Why? Does he not like me?"

"No no!" Marlene insisted. "He said he likes you and that's the only reason why he's letting me."

"Then what?" Denzel asked.

"Hmm," Marlene rubbed her chin. "I don't know. Maybe he's lonely…" Marlene suddenly snapped her fingers. "Of course! He's sad because he doesn't have a date to the Life Day Fair!"

"Oh…" Denzel simply nodded along with Marlene's fervor.

"But Tifa is with Cloud…" Marlene frowned, rubbing her chin still more furiously. "Hmm…"

* * *

 

The sun set on Kalm, but the streets were lit, if it were possible, even brighter than the light of noon. Lanterns and spotlights shone out, and music filled the air. Barret got out of bed, having taken a catnap in preparation for the long night ahead of him.

There was a knock on his door, which startled Barret as he wasn't expecting any company.

Barret casually strolled down the stairs and opened the door. Standing in front of him was a thoroughly bemused looking Yuffie.

"Hello, Yuffie," Barret said awkwardly.

"Um, hi Barret," Yuffie seemed to have no idea what to do with her hands. "Can I come in?"

Barret nodded. "Of course, of course. You're always welcome in my home. What brings you here from Wutai?"

"Actually I was over in Edge. You should see their Life Day festival. It's almost obscene," Yuffie sighed.

"How's that?" Barret asked, closing the door behind Yuffie as she slid in.

"They thought it'd be funny to have a laser light show of Meteor falling on the city. It was so realistic a few people panicked and ran out of town," Yuffie sighed.

"Ah. And what brings you to Kalm?" Barret asked.

Yuffie looked at Barret for a moment, and then let her eyes wander around the house. "This is a nice place you've got here," she stammered.

Barret let the subject die gracefully and asked the more pressing question on his mind. "Have you seen Marlene? Denzel was taking her to the fair, but I was hoping she would at least check in with me."

Yuffie nodded. "Oh yeah. She told me to tell you she'll meet you at the courtyard. Her and Denzel wanted to get started. Those two are so cute."

Barret chuckled. "She's growing up a little too fast for me."

Yuffie sighed and waved her hand. "Yeah yeah, you remind me of my dad. " But at that Yuffie's lip seemed to curl, as though she'd said something mildly disgusting.

"You know us old folks aren't just out to get you young people," Barret scoffed. "We actually know what we're talking about."

"So did you want to go to the fair?" Yuffie asked suddenly.

Barret seemed thoroughly taken aback by this. This was the last thing he had been expecting.

"Uh… Yuffie are you asking me out?" Barret asked.

"Well, um…I mean kinda…" Yuffie sighed. "Oh god, this is so stupid. "

"What?" Barret asked.

"Well, Marlene told me that you were lonely and that you wanted a date and I figured that since we were friends it wouldn't be weird and I was all alone… ugh…" Yuffie shuddered. "It's so weird."

Barret rolled his eyes.

"Well, it's not that you're a bad guy… but I mean I just said it didn't I? You're old enough to be my father," Yuffie sighed.

Barret, not sure what to say, tested the waters. "I thought you and Vincent…"

"Why does everybody think that?" Yuffie cried. "What do we have in common? Seriously?"

Clear that he was sailing now into even more choppy waters than he had been previously, Barret chose his next words carefully.

"Yuffie, is everything alright with you?" Barret asked.

"With me? I'm fine," Yuffie laughed unconvincingly. "Just fine. Everything's going great for me."

There was a certain lack of conviction in her voice, and her words seemed to tremble unpredictably with the laugh.

"Yuffie, you and I are friends. But you don't come to a guy my age to randomly ask for a date unless something has really got you riled up," Barret sighed.

Yuffie's pride seemed to have disappeared in the past few seconds, as she sunk down onto the floor and rubbed her eyes. "Oh it's just so stupid."

"What is it?" Barret asked.

"My dad and I had another fight," Yuffie cried.

Yuffie's shoulders were shaking, but Barret knew that any attempt at a comforting gesture would not be welcome yet.

"What about?" Barret asked. He could hear somebody set off a firecracker outside.

"He wanted to know why I hadn't been doing my temple duty. He said that I was acting like a little girl and that it was no surprise that I didn't have boyfriend because what boy would ever want a lazy, irresponsible brat like me?" Yuffie cried.

Barret had heard the argument, and he could relate to the suffering. His young adult years were not exactly strife-free.

"Am I really just wasting my life?" Yuffie asked to the ceiling.

"Yuffie, your old man is an idiot," Barret said bracingly. "I mean you helped save the world. You think he might be able to see that."

Yuffie laughed and nodded, wiping back a tear.

"Us parents we tend to get a little… obsessive. When it comes to our kids we have expectations and when things don't go the way we expect, we feel like we've failed in some way," Barret explained.

Yuffie nodded and turned to Barret. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"Your dad loves you. He's off his rocker to be calling you lazy, but he does care about you," Barret said. He lifted her off the ground and gave her a hug.

"Go enjoy the festival," Barret smiled.

"Thanks Barret," Yuffie smiled back.

* * *

 

"Oh!" Marlene called as she saw Yuffie walked down the road towards her. Her smile turned quickly into a frown. "Where's daddy?"

"Marlene, your daddy is old enough to be my daddy," Yuffie laughed, patting Marlene on the head. "He'll be here though."

"But he was supposed to have a date!" Marlene cried. "Okay, we'll have to go to plan B!"

Yuffie grabbed some cotton candy from a trolley and glanced back at Marlene. "Plan B?"

The courtyard was filled with dancing people, fireworks, lights displays and vendors, so Yuffie could have pretended she had not heard the next words out of Marlene's mouth. But she heard them, clear as day.

"We gotta find Elena," Marlene nodded.

* * *

 

"I'm so glad we came to this festival instead of going to the one in Edge," Elena smiled as she leaned back against the stone wall of the church.

Reno shot a roman candle into the sky and laughed. "It may be the sticks, but you've got a point."

Reno still wore his Turk uniform out of habit, but Elena was dressed in light blue jeans and a t-shirt with a picture of a moogle, who was less than tastefully popping up from between Elena's endowments. Rude sat on the opposite side of Reno in khaki's, black boots and a grey tanktop. His shades were tucked carefully into the neck of the tanktop.

"Oh look," Elena cried, pointing ahead of them. "Isn't that Yuffie?"

"Shinra Inc. is dead, Elena. Are you just always gonna pick fights with them?" Rude asked, sipping from a hip flask.

"I was saying we oughta go say hi or something," Elena rolled her eyes.

"How would that conversation start, exactly?" Reno asked. "'Hi, remember me? I'm the girl that use to try and kill you. So how are you these days?'"

Elena shrugged. "It looks like she's seeking me out anyways."

And sure enough, Yuffie and her two pint-sized companions were marching right up to the three.

Yuffie's head was bowed, almost in embarrassment. "Hi, guys."

"Yuffie," Rude nodded.

"Elena!" Marlene began. "Attention!"

Elena's face looked broken-hearted at what she thought was a cute remark, but which Yuffie, Denzel and- by his expression- Reno had understood as an order. Elena stood up and saluted the girl.

"How can I help you miss?" Elena smiled.

"Take my daddy on a date!" Marlene said plainly.

Elena did not know how to respond. Clearly torn between thinking this might be some manner of joke, or that the child was in fact speaking plainly and honestly, all Elena could do was chuckle. "Haha. Um you mean Barrret?"

"That's right!" Marlene nodded.

Suddenly clear that there was nothing joking in her look and words, Elena changed tack. "Um, well he's a little old for me, dear. But he's a great guy, I'm sure."

"Come on, Elena," Yuffie pleaded. "He's way too old for me!"

"Wait, he asked you out?" Elena asked.

"No, Yuffie abandoned her mission!" Marlene nodded.

Elena now looked completely confused. "Um… mission?"

"It's a long story," Yuffie groaned.

* * *

 

Barret had just finished his shower, and now getting dressed. He had just thrown on his shirt when he heard another knocking at his door.

"Man, are you kidding me?" Barret groaned aloud.

Barret walked over to his door and opened it, to see Tifa and Cloud.

"Hey Barret!" Tifa smiled, giving him a big hug. "Can we come in?"

"Of course," Barret nodded. "Thought you guys would be at the one in Edge."

"Not so much," Cloud spit. "They thought it'd be great idea…"

"I've heard the story," Barret groaned.

"Really?" Tifa asked.

"Yeah, Yuffie was here a while ago," Barret nodded.

"Oh, well we're just here to pay you a visit before we go to the festival… were you going to be going or-?" Tifa didn't seem sure how to ask this question without being rude.

Barret nodded. "Yeah. I want to go check on Marlene and Denzel."

"Marlene and Denzel are dating? Oh that's so cute!" Tifa smiled with barely contained glee.

"Aren't they a little young?" Cloud asked.

Barret gestured in Cloud's direction. "Thank you."

* * *

 

"Are you seriously going to do this?" Reno asked as he walked down the street with Elena and Rude.

"Hey, you know. I know it's silly, but things aren't going so great with me lately. None of my boyfriends have lasted and I think I know why. I've been dating _boys_. If I start dating _men_ then maybe things will be different for me. And besides Barret is a nice guy. So why not?" Elena asked. She turned and faced the men. "That'll do from here. I don't need an escort, thank you."

She walked off, checking her hair briefly in a compact.

"This has failure written all over it," Reno sighed.

"Wanna go grab a drink until this blows over?" Rude asked.

"Yep."

* * *

 

"Barret, did you have that modification to my sword finished?" Cloud asked.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that. It's upstairs in my workroom. The gears are a little iffy, you may want to have Cid double-check my work, but it should be combat ready," Barret nodded.

Cloud bowed slightly and walked up the stairs.

"Tifa, am I being obsessive about Marlene and this whole dating thing?" Barret asked.

"Well, I don't think so. She is nine after all. That's pretty young to even be interested in boys. But I wouldn't worry about it too much. After all we all have to grow up sometime," Tifa explained.

Barret sighed deeply. "That's what I'm afraid of."

There was a knock at the door. Barret looked at Tifa and then back at the spot on the floor where Yuffie had sat. There was only one more girl he knew. And she was no longer among the living.

"Do you wanna get that?" Barret asked.

"Uh, sure…" Tifa rose to answer the door.

She opened it and saw Elena, who's welcoming smile turned to a grimace in moments.

"Elena?" Tifa asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I might ask you the same question," Elena scowled. "Whatever. This must be the wrong house."

And Elena stormed off. Tifa, dumbfounded, shut the door.

* * *

 

"Where's daddy?" Marlene demanded.

"Your daddy already has a date!" Elena snapped.

"What?!" Marlene cried, excitedly. "With who?"

"With Tifa," Elena cursed, slamming her fist into her palm.

Marlene's face turned from childish glee to mortal shock. The sound of fireworks in the background didn't even phase her.

"But… that can't be…" Marlene said, tears welling up in her eyes. "Tifa and Cloud…"

"That's what I thought," Elena said coolly. "But we were both wrong."

Denzel put his hand on Marlene's shoulder. "Marlene are you?"

"Men!" Marlene shouted smartly. "You just ruin everything!"

And she ran off into the crowd.

"Marlene, wait!" Yuffie shouted, running after her.

* * *

 

"Well, we had better get going to the festival," Tifa stood, giving Barret another hug.

"You two have fun. I'll be right behind you," Barret smiled.

Suddenly there was another knock at the door.

"Oh come on!" Barret shouted.

He opened the door and saw Denzel.

"Denzel?" Barret asked curiously. "Where's Marlene?"

"She ran away and we can't find her!" Denzel cried.

"What happened?" Barret asked.

"She ran because you're dating Tifa," Denzel shook.

Barret could swear he saw anger on Denzel's face.

"What?" Tifa asked.

"What are you talking about?" Barret asked.

"Elena said she saw you and Tifa in here," Denzel explained.

"Yeah, because I was here too," Cloud nodded.

Denzel was obviously not expecting to see Cloud, and he jumped back in fright. "Cloud!"

"What about Marlene?" Barret asked.

Denzel fidgeted nervously. "Well… she started crying and ran into the crowd. Yuffie is looking but we can't find her."

"Oh my god!" Tifa gasped. "Barret, we'll help you look."

"Come on, let's go!" Barret shouted.

* * *

 

Marlene sat at the edge of the courtyard by a small fountain. She was crying. How could her daddy do something like this? Tifa and Cloud were supposed to be together. Not Tifa and Daddy.

"What's with the waterworks, pint size?" Reno asked, walking up.

Marlene looked up at Reno, steeled herself and wiped away her tears. She then pouted and looked away from Reno.

"Grown up problems not so much fun, eh?" Reno asked, sitting down on the bench. "Do you mind?"

Marlene continued to look away. Reno smiled.

"You know adults usually open up to me, but then you're still a little girl," Reno smiled.

"I'm nine and-" but Marlene remembered that she was angry at him, and turned away.

"Oy. Kids you're always so eager to grow up. Not that I can say anything. I was the same way," Reno chuckled. "And now that I'm an old guy… well older… I wish I could be a kid again."

Marlene loosened slightly. She turned to Reno.

"Being a kid sucks," she said plainly.

"Being an adult sucks," Reno retorted. "So as long as both options suck, we might as well enjoy what good comes with it while we got it."

Marlene didn't know what to say, she tried to be hard again but couldn't summon the resolve somehow.

"Cause you know, Marlene. You have all the time in the world to be an adult, but you only get a few years to be a kid. So you gotta make those years last," Reno nodded.

"Marlene!" came Barret's voice.

Marlene looked up. At first, it looked as though she was going to rush up and hug him, but she sat more firmly, her arms now locked together. She turned her head away. She did not want to see him.

"Marlene?" Cloud asked.

Marlene turned and looked at Cloud. As she did so, she saw Tifa's hand in his. They were still together. Her daddy hadn't done anything.

"Daddy!" Marlene cried as she jumped off the bench and hugged him.

"You lose somebody?" Reno chuckled.

"Thanks Reno," Tifa smiled.

"No problem," Reno nodded. "I'm gonna go find Rude and Elena. You all have a good one. Happy Life Day."

Reno waved and then disappeared back into the dancing crowd. Barret turned to Marlene.

"Marlene, I owe you an apology," Barret began.

Marlene was not sure what to make of this, but she sat back on the bench. "What do you mean?"

"You remember what this day celebrates right?" Barret asked.

"The day you guys and the flower lady saved the world," Marlene nodded.

"Right. And my whole reason for wanting to save the world was so that you could have a world to grow up in. So that you could have a life of your own," Barret explained.

"I'm not in a hurry to grow up, daddy," Marlene nodded. "We'll have time for that later."

"Well spoken, Marlene!" Yuffie smiled. "For now, how about you and Denzel go enjoy the fair!"

Marlene looked up at Barret, who nodded. "Go have fun, Marlene."

Marlene took Denzel's hand and they ran off to join the crowd.

"You did good, Dad," Tifa smiled. "She'll be alright."

Barret nodded. "Yeah. I know she will."

**Author's Note:**

> Originally featured on Fanfiction.net
> 
> Additional notes:  
> Yes, I know "Life Day" is the name of the stupid holiday from the Star Wars Holiday Special.  
> No, I didn't know that when I wrote this.


End file.
